We’re just going to ignore the fact that I disappeared for 10 months, and continue with ABCs of Death 2 as if I never left. Okay? Good.
I think the family here deserves the award for the greediest family members in existence, but that’s not the main focus right now. I’m sure there’s someone somewhere that is complaining about the borderline torture methods used to attempt to kill the matriarch, but screw them. I did chuckle once or twice because it is that horrible, and the desperation of the family was kind of hilarious. I give it 3/5. It’s a little goofy at the end, but as a whole it (somewhat) grows on you.
Given the tragic events that occurred June 11th, 2016, I don’t feel comfortable watching and reviewing this particular segment. It contains graphic violence against gay men by fanatic Christians, and I really can’t stomach sitting through something like this again. Call me whatever you want, but it just doesn’t seem like an appropriate thing for me to do. I can give the gore and makeup effects 4/5, but I can’t objectively rate the overall plot at this time.
I’ll admit that I had to look up the definition for knell, which is: the sound of a bell, especially when rung solemnly for a death or funeral. Normally I would nitpick this since there was no bell to be heard, but this short was good enough to deserve a pass. It’s one of those situation where the lack of explanation is probably scarier than actually explaining it. I was actually creeped out, and that does not happen easily. I give it 4/5. A part of me does wish it had explained what the hell was going n, but another part of me thinks it would have lost its charm if it did. I also applaud it for being the only ABCs of Death segment that has come close to actually scaring me.
I don’t understand how so many things could go wrong in one segment. Honestly, I’m kind of impressed by how terrible this is. You have to train to be this bad at film-making. Where do I start? The demonic monkey (?) who zaps the soul from anyone and then turns them into stone? The special effects that I’m pretty sure were created with MS Paint? Or maybe the fact that there’s no way the run time even made it to 3 minutes? I really can’t pick. I’m just in shock that someone thought this was strong enough to be included in the sequel of many ways to die. This is a 0. I can suspend belief for a lot of things. Demonic, soul sucking, African Monkey deity is not one of them.