ABCs of Death J-M

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I had to do a bit of research for this one. I thought it was good, but I wanted to know if there was anything significant about the “samurai movie”. From what I gathered, these films are probably serious in nature given the time period they’re based on, and I think laughing while committing seppuku is generally frowned upon. It doesn’t help we’re treated to faces like this: The_ABCs_of_Death_J_for_Jidai-geki_3-1024x575

As bizarre as it is, I think it still deserves a 3/5. It doesn’t rely on senseless shocks, and I think it’s pretty damn funny. The only downside is the humor might be lost on those who are unfamiliar with samurai movies. I find it entertaining because I apparently have the same sense of humor as a toddler.

 

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I still am at a loss for words about this one. What am I supposed to say about seeing a woman die from her turd launching itself forcefully back into her butt? I don’t even know how that works. I wouldn’t have thought to associate the word “klutz” with “death by poo”, but that’s just me. The whole short is based on Morgenthaler’s fascination with the fact that women also feel the need to poop. I’m dead serious. I’m going to give this 1/5. I personally don’t think it’s funny because it’s highly unrealistic. If your poo suddenly came to life and nuzzled your foot like a cat, would you stay in the bathroom and try to coerce it back into the toilet? You know you wouldn’t. I know I would run from the house screaming and call a priest. And I hate this segment for making me think about how I would react to something like that.

 

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Yet another segment that I refuse to watch again. It’s disgusting, but it’s exactly what the director was going for. You can easily guess this is overly sexual in nature, but it goes way past that. We’re subjected to increasing degrees of sexual perversion, each instance being worse than the last. I wanted to give this a low rating just because of what happens, but here I can’t do that. It’s highly effective, the effects are outstanding for a $5,000 budget, and I personally think this is one of the few segments that succeeded in what it was trying to do. I say it earns a solid 3/5.  As good as it is, it’s still pretty damn nasty. I just could do without being subjected to some of the most horrible fetishes in existence.

 

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Here we have the last segment that I won’t watch again. The biggest issue I have is that TI West decided to take one of the most traumatic experiences a woman can have, and compare it to a clogged toilet: annoying, but hilarious for the audience. I have a big problem with that. I don’t see the humor in a woman trying to dislodge a dead fetus from her toilet with a plunger. I get that West was going up against directors that actually had a concept in mind. What I cannot understand is why he would want to poke fun at something like this. It gets a 0. It’s not funny, it’s not really shocking, and it lacks any directorial talent. It’s just shows what little creativity West actually has.

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