Blood Feast (1963) 3/5
I decided to watch this mainly because it’s known as a horror classic. I thought it was okay. Most of the time and energy obviously went into the gore and effects, which are amazing considering this was made in the 60’s. Other than that, it’s a little too cheesy for my taste. The Egyptian goddess plot didn’t make a whole lot of sense, and the acting is questionable even by 1963 standards. The only thing I took away from this is you can do believable gore with a small budget, and that amateur horror filmmakers today seem to gloss over that.
Seance: The Summoning (2011) 2/5
This starts out as a standard yet decent demonic possession flick, and then turns into Christian propaganda. I’m still confused as to how that happened. The only name worth mentioning here is Bobby Campo, who you might know from the 4th Final Destination. Everyone does a good job until the last act, and then it turns into an overdramatic free for all. Campo goes from sinister demon to rejected Batman villain. That didn’t bother me as much as the ending message. I’m not saying religion doesn’t belong in horror movies. It just made absolutely no sense to end things the way they did. It’s a shame because this started with so much potential.
Natural Selection (2011) 5/5
I didn’t know much about this other than it had won several film festival awards. It’s about a woman who searches for the son her husband fathered after donating to a sperm bank. Yes that is oddly specific, but stick with me. It’s not wacky hijinks or a road trip movie. These are some pretty messed up people that face their problems after realizing just how badly things have deteriorated. I like the fact it was a perfect balance of comedy and drama, and the acting was great. It expired from Netflix, but I think it’s worth buying.
The Lair of the White Worm (1988) 4/5
I’m still not sure what exactly this is, but I liked it. It’s something about some kind of snake god, and apparently being a snake is a lot like being a vampire. Also, being bitten by a snake causes acid trips that involve Jesus being crucified, nuns being raped, and snake women with strap-on dildos. I am aware of how little sense that makes, but you just have to watch it and see. It is sensory overload with a dash of campy comedy, but it somehow works.
Devil’s Due (2014) 1/5
I hate movies that have stupid characters. For example if I’m on my honeymoon in a foreign country, I’m either hiring a tour guide or at least carrying a map so I don’t get lost after a festival. I also wouldn’t hop into a cab that just seems to pop out of nowhere, and harasses me until I go to an underground club. Every scene manages to be even more idiotic than the last. The effects are probably okay, but I couldn’t tell because found footage apparently means shaking the camera non-stop. There is one positive to this: I didn’t pay to see it when it was in theaters.