Rapid Retrospect 5/5- 5/11

Nightmare Detective (2006) 3/5
nightmare detective

Here’s one of the foreign releases from Dimension Extreme. I have to say I’m a little disappointed. I was expecting a lot of gore, along with an interesting plot. What I got was a clunky mess that just peters out at the end. The whole “serial killer in dreams” bit has been done many times before, but Nightmare Detective doesn’t add anything except a lot of water and confusing scenes. My biggest question is how a couple people gain the ability to enter dreams, and why did it take so long for the police to track them down? However, the monster/killer was interesting, and it was promising until the last 15-20 minutes. It’s good to watch once if you have an hour and 40 minutes to kill.

Eaten Alive (1980) 1/5
eaten alive

I wanted to see this one because I am on a quest to see every horror film from the 80’s. I’m guessing it’s considered horror because of the cannibalistic scenes, but it’s just very…rapey. Every 10 minutes some chick is getting what little clothing she has ripped off, and then gets pinned to the ground. That’s bad enough, but then this steals scenes of real animal abuse from other movies. I can handle anything, unless animals are really being harmed. I lost count of how many times an animal is killed on-screen. There’s nothing redeeming about this, outside of the hilariously bad wigs the cannibals are wearing. Unfortunately, that’s not enough to overshadow unnecessary rape and abuse.

Bloody Birthday 3/5 (1981)

Three babies born during an eclipse lack remorse and empathy, and turn into murderous schoolchildren. My biggest question is how everyone seems to ignore the blatant signs that the murders weren’t committed by an adult. A jump rope is left at one of the crime scenes, and no one thinks to look at the creepy kids that always hang out together? They beat the sheriff to death in broad daylight, and the official report has cause of death listed as a fall? It’s an original story, but I can’t turn off my common sense long enough to really enjoy it. To its credit, those kids gave me the heebie jeebies. If you want something creepy, this is a good pick.

Sadako (2012) 3/5

This is in the Ringu set of films. Someone has the brilliant idea to resurrect the girl that was dropped into the well, and her spirit creates a cursed video clip that drives people to suicide. Unfortunately, this was meant to be seen in 3D. A lot of the scares and effects are lost when you watch it normally. The best part is when the spirit manifests as a spider/cricket hybrid. It is as creepy as it sounds. The story itself isn’t horrible, but I think events could’ve played out more smoothly. I say watch it if you like completing franchises, even though there is a part 2 that has not been released in the U.S. (thanks for the tip, Jason). For the rest of you that aren’t familiar with Ringu, you’ll be lost and probably bored.

The Baby (1973) 3/5

It takes a lot to unnerve me, but The Baby managed to do just that. It’s so bizarre that you’re not sure how to feel about it. We follow a social worker who takes on the case of Baby, a grown man that lives life as a baby. This is all because of abuse at the hands of his mother and sisters. I’m not quite sure how to rate this. Given the subject matter, the acting is quite good, and the plot is weird but well-executed. It’s worth watching on Netflix, but be prepared for the most uncomfortable 85 minutes of your life.

The Keep (1983) 1/5

Nazis take over a town with some kind of crypt that is covered by crosses. When two of the soldiers try to steal silver, they unleash a being whose name is very close to Molasses. Molasses also has an enemy whose name is close to Goulash. Nothing really happens for 90 minutes outside of an out of place sex scene, and Nazis randomly exploding. It sounds awesome, but it’s really not. Throw in some bad special effects and a non-stop fog machine, and you have a sedative in celluloid form.

Vamp (1986) 4/5

The only way I can describe this is it is everything 80’s, and it is glorious. You have Grace Jones as the vampire queen, fraternity pledges, gore, comedy, and boobs. Do I need to say anything else? It is a cult classic, and you should buy it if you don’t already have it.

Mr. Nobody (2009) 4/5

I saw this on Netflix a while ago, but I had no interest in it. It’s over 2 hours long, and it’s science fiction. But because of a recommendation, I decided to give it a chance. And my god, this is outstanding. Jared Leto plays the last living mortal who is on his deathbed. He is interviewed by a report, and retells the story of his life. However, he gives two versions: what would’ve happened if he had lived with his mother, or if he had stayed with his father. It doesn’t sounds like much, but the movie aims to show how the smallest decisions will impact the rest of our lives, who we meet, and who we fall in love with. Don’t let the run time scare you. It is worth it, and I think it deserves more recognition.


2 thoughts on “Rapid Retrospect 5/5- 5/11

  1. I’ve been working my way through the Top 500 Cult Films, and The Baby is on the list. I’ve been avoiding it because I keep hearing how it is not a pleasurable experience, but I suppose if I can get through Eraserhead, I can get through anything.

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