Another Kind (2011)/ Behind Your Eyes (2011)/ The Wind (2001)

I made some major progress on this collection. However, 3 of the movies were so bad that I have decided to put them all in one review. All of these get 1/5. First up is Another Kind.

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I almost feel like Devil’s Pass is the finished version of Another Kind. I say that because it seems like we’re watching a rough cut of the final film. It’s not found footage, but everything is so poorly shot that it could pass for one. Also, nothing really happens for 45 minutes out of the “friends” arguing and insulting each other. When the action starts to pick up, we’re subjected to a dream sequence that has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. I know this was supposed to be one of those “what you don’t see is scarier than what you actually see”; but it doesn’t work here. You still need to give your audience some idea of what they should be scared off. Flashing different colored lights doesn’t cut it. My next selection was Behind Your Eyes.

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At this point I started to miss Another Kind. Here we have a couple that is kidnapped and tortured, but they escape their kidnapper and run into murderous religious fanatics. Oh and the boyfriend was in the first kidnapping because he’s a homosexual drug addict, and this torture/rape fantasy gives him something to focus on when he has sex with his girlfriend. In yet another (and unnecessary) twist, the gay, drug-addicted, Viagra-popping boyfriend is the disowned son of the religious couple. Their M.O. is to kill women who are “sinners”. The son likes going after gay men because they need more “saving” than anyone else. There, I described the movie in less time than it took to watch it. I just saved you 90 minutes. But don’t thank me yet, because I’ve saved the best for last: The Wind.

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After watching this, I am almost positive M. Night Shyamalan stole the plot of The Happening. Instead of pissed off trees, we have demonic wind that turns a supposed group of friends into murder-happy freaks. The ringleader/ love interest has the same physique as a 12 year old boy, and about as much sex appeal as a corpse. The men of the group develop this frat boy persona, and then beat each other to death. This is obviously a student film made by someone whose “genius” the rest of us wouldn’t understand. To recap: there’s ghastly acting, a $3.50 budget, no plot or storytelling, and stock footage from 1942. And of course no explanation as to why the wind wants “revenge” against college kids. I’m not going to say which movie is the worst I’ve seen so far. Why? The next one manages to be even more pointless than the last. Don’t believe me? The movie after this is Adrift: a 1993 made for TV remake of Dead Calm. I wish I wasn’t so stubborn. I am beyond ready to quit this collection.

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