Based on the response I got on the first Rapid Retrospect, I’m going to change things a bit. Memory Lane will be retired. I’ll still watch movies I’ve seen before, but I’m going to keep the reviews short. Without further ado, here’s I what I was able to see last week.
Zombi 5: Killing Birds (1988)
Here’s the last of the Zombi films, and I don’t think it could’ve ended in a worse way. I actually don’t remember that much outside of a lot of off-screen kills, a plot that makes no sense, and then it was over. Oh yeah, and killer birds mixed in that are avenging the death of…somebody. I zoned out after the first 5 minutes, but it had something to do with a cuckolded husband. I think. The hilariously bad special effects makeup didn’t help matters either. I give it 1/5.
A Good Old Fashioned Orgy (2011)
A bunch of friends head to a home in the Hamptons every summer for theme parties. The house is being sold, so they decide an orgy should be their last hurrah. At first glance, I thought this would feature spoiled college kids. Nope, these are adults in their mid-30s. It just makes it…weird. I’m not saying you should stop partying at a certain age, but when you’re already at your last hurrah when you’re only 35? It seems a little desperate to me. I give it 3/5. Even though the plot is questionable, it’s hilarious and the cast includes some of my favorites.
Mr. Angel (2013)
This is a documentary of Buck Angel, a transgender porn actor. He was born female, but made the transition to male. However, he didn’t have surgery on his bottom half. That’s right; he’s a male porn actor with a fully functional vagina. Looking past how odd the whole situation is, I commend him for trying to raise awareness for people like him. He does a lot of public speaking encouraging others to accept themselves. He has a great message, but I can’t help but feel like it gets overshadowed because of his decision to star in porn. I give it 3/5.
Buried Alive (2007)
I saw this years ago on Comcast On Demand. I thought it was awesome. I don’t know why. It makes no sense. There’s a family curse that finally kills everyone off, but we’re never told what the curse is. Also, our heroes have zero survival instincts. Most people would be worried if a member of their group was just sitting in a car for 8 hours. Not these guys. They joke the missing member is watching porn. That would be valid, except they’re in the desert with no cell signal or Wi-Fi. There are many dumb scenes like this throughout the whole movie. I guess Tobin Bell really needed a paycheck in between Saw 3 and 4. This gets 1/5.