Rapid Retrospect 3/17-3/23

I’m trying out something new. Most of the movies I find are so terrible they don’t deserve a full review, or they’re good but there’s not much I can say without giving the whole film away. Now I will put some of those films here weekly in a list. I finished my finals this week, so I decided to catch up on stuff that has been lingering in my Netflix queue for a while, and a couple DVDs that I’ve had for the last month.

Salvage (2009)

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There are a couple films that share this title. I’m guess those are better than the one I watched. It’s about a mother that tries to rescue her daughter because some alien booger monster is terrorizing a suburb. There’s just a lot of screaming, running back and forth between 2 houses, and no explanation as to what the monster is or how it got to this complex. It’s a little generic and predictable, the acting is blander than water, and it’s so short that gore took precedence over character development and a storyline. I give it 2/5.

The World’s End (2013)

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Here we have the last of the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy. I personally think this is the best out of the three. A group of friends reunite to finally conquer a notorious pub crawl, except the town has been taken over by aliens. Once again, our heroes aren’t the most reliable people but it works. I give it 4/5. The story isn’t anything new, but the acting and writing is what makes it so enjoyable. Think This Is the End, except with little to no dick jokes and characters you want to see survive.

Zombie 3 (1988)

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I’m working on watching “classics” that I haven’t seen. This is one of them, but it just doesn’t compare to Zombi 2. Once you’ve seen a zombie fighting a shark, it is really hard to top that. However, it’s still a decent gore fest so I give it 3/5. It’s not horrible, but I think what brought it down was the pacing and the plot. You can also tell this didn’t seem like something Lucio Fulci would put out. You’re absolutely right. Fulci was only able to film 60% of the movie, and the rest was done by Bruno Mattei, who felt the movie needed more “padding”. We see how well that turned out.

Zombie 4 (1989)

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This is where things really go downhill. Lucio Fulci was not a part of this, and writer Claudio Fragrasso took over directing while Rossella Drudi handled the screenplay. That combined with horrid acting equals a 84 minute cheese fest. The zombies are now ninjas/mindless minions, they can talk, and organize a mob to corner and eat people. The ending is the most attractive character dying, and our heroine turns into a Marilyn Monroe zombie. This was just painful to watch. I give it 2/5.

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