Memory Lane Special: Antichrist

I’m sure you all know by now that I’m a huge gore and horror fan. Nothing shocks me. I’ve seen people dismembered by every instrument you can imagine. I’ve seen men get raped by brooms, knives and guns. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m quite desensitized. But…there is only one movie in all my years of film watching that I shut off because of just one scene. Keep in mind that the movie was around 95% done by the time that this scene happened. I didn’t care. I was absolutely horrified by what I had seen that I refused to tough it out for the last 15 minutes. So what was the scene? A woman loses her mind and cuts off her own clitoris with a pair of rusty scissors. And…it’s a close up shot.

Don’t ask me why that’s the one thing that got to me. I’ve sat through a lot of crap, but I just could not get past that. I saw Antichrist 2 years ago. I wanted to do something special for my birthday, so I gave myself the very masochistic challenge of completing the movie. I accomplished two things. I finished the movie, and I also realized how butt awful it is. I think this beats The Human Centipede as the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Without further ado, let’s abandon all hope for Antichrist.


The story is about a couple that loses their son, and they try to repair their hearts and minds. If only it were that wholesome. In actuality, we see them screwing on every surface of the apartment. We’re also treated to an extreme close up of Willem Dafoe’s comically large penis entering Charlotte Gainsbourg’s vagina. I know they’re stunt naughty bits, but I still hate this movie for implanting the idea of Willem Dafoe naked and having sex. One’s psyche does not bounce back from that. Anyway, while they’re going at it like jack rabbits, their son gets out of his crib. He manages to climb onto the ledge of a window, slips and falls to his death.

Objection #1: Kids are loud as crap. The movie clearly shows the boy pushing a chair to reach the window. Have you heard a metal chair sliding across a wood floor? I don’t care how loud you are during sex, you’d hear something like that. I’m also going to assume that the boy cried out as he was falling. Once again, the parents of the year should have heard that. The point I’m trying to get at is there were several moments were the boy could’ve been saved. Which leads us as the audience to think that they really didn’t want to have a child. We find out at the end of the movie, that that’s actually the truth.

I’m not even going to give this movie anymore thought. It’s incredibly screwed up, and I prefer not to think about it. The writer/director was going through a deep depression at the time of writing the script, and it completely shows. It goes from super artsy to hardcore porn to supernatural. There’s no point, and no continuity. Unfortunately, all this is is the visual representation of a man’s depression. And it gets dark and dirty fast. I feel bad for Lars von Trier, but I have to wonder what happened for him to want to showcase such horrible imagery. What symbolism could possibly be taken from seeing a man’s testicles brutally beaten, and then his wife gives him a hand job that results in bloody ejaculate? And the same question but for the scene that caused me to shut the movie off the first time I saw it. Why the hell would you show people this?!

Horrible characters, incredibly disturbing imagery, a non existent plot and a twist that makes no sense earn this a goose egg. I understand that using art to get through depression is very therapeutic. But scenes of violent sexual assaults and genital amputation/mutilation? I think a priest is the only one that can get rid of whatever mental issues Lars has.


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