Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter


Let’s get one important fact out of the way: this was never meant to be a comedy. I normally don’t factor other reviews into my own, but it’s becoming so annoying that I have to bring it up. It’s not based on humor. Lincoln’s mother is killed by a vampire, and he devotes most of his adult life becoming stronger to avenge her death. What part of that could possibly be considered funny? Now that my first rant in almost 3 weeks is over, let’s get into the actual movie.
I’ll admit that I thought this was going to be bad. I figured it’d be great for gore and action. Once again, I was wrong. Seth Grahame-Smith is a very strong screenwriter, and Timur Bekmambetov proves that he deserves to be known for something other than Wanted. Benjamin Walker did a solid job of portraying Lincoln. Then again, I wasn’t exactly looking for complete historical accuracy, and I also don’t really care. The rest of the cast were  very good. The main complaint I have are the villains: first vampire Adam and his enforcer/sister Vadoma. The one thing about this film is that when the action gets started, it comes at you hard and fast. It’s very intense. Rufus Sewell and Erin Wasson just don’t have the same intensity as the film for the first half, and they drag it down.
I will say Sewell definitely redeems himself in the second act. He plays Adam like this silent and downright malicious evil genius. It’s completely brilliant, and quite terrifying. Wasson never does anything except look pretty in dresses and runs into battle only to be shot in the head with iron, and quickly dies. One out of two isn’t horrible, I guess. I will also mention that one of the plot points was a very smart choice given the time period. I won’t give it away because you should go see the movie.
I was surprised to see that one of my favorite actresses was the leading lady. I love Mary Elizabeth Winstead. She can do no wrong. Yes, I even loved her in the craptastic voyage that is Final Destination 3. I thought she was great as Mary Todd. She’s an important part of Lincoln’s development as a man, and she is definitely a strong supporting character.
I’m almost positive there are “glaring” historical inaccuracies, but I would also like to remind you that the film is called Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. And do I really seem like the type to give a rat’s ass about history? I didn’t think so. So, for action, gore, an interesting plot and solid acting, I give it a 5/5. I was very entertained, and it was quite memorable. The only real flaw is villains that are a tiny bit weak to start, but come back with a bite (no pun intended).

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